Favorite line from a book recently - "Everybody needs fudge Hildy. It's how God helps us to cope." p 169,Peeled by Joan Bauer

I am a huge Joan Bauer fan. Her teenage female characters are matched by no other author.

So much trouble

There is a billboard in Greensboro that went up sometime in February. It has a huge picture of red roses on a black background and the lettering says, "Alison, Happy Valentines, Birthday, and Mother's Day!"

Every time I see it I laugh. Some dude thought he was being so great, killing 3 huge birds with one stone. I think he thought he would score major points.Unfortunately, he most likely got the equivalent of a swift kick upside the head. Who wants a billboard? You can't wear it, eat it, keep it forever, etc. It's tacky and embarrassing. He probably thought that his better half would brag to all her friends, etc. Instead she has to endure his lameness that he couldn't think of 3 meaningful ( I don't mean expensive here!) things to do or give to his wife and the mother of his kids.

Here's a heads up to all men everywhere- Birthday, Mother's Day, Valentines, Christmas, St. Patrick's Day and 4th of July rolled together as one gift doesn't work, EVER!

Running Away

My last post was about a joyous running encounter with a few lovely animals. I know I have posted several times about running and animals but I just have to add another. Last week we were at the beach vacationing in South Carolina with Jason's family. It was a lot of fun, but of course,hectic and crazy. I brought my running gear hoping that I would be able to get out a few times and pound the pavement. (I have no idea how beach running works. How do you get out to the wet, hard sand without filling your shoes first with buckets of dry? If you know the secret, please pass it along.) So the first morning I went for a run hoping I could find somewhere to go other then on roads past lots of condos breathing the exhaust of caravans of cars on their way to Denny's. Low and behold at the end of the development there was an old, closed down golf course. Beautiful tall oaks draped with Spanish moss shading a few miles of paved path all to myself. Heaven. So there I was reveling in my aloneness and having a fabulous time when I clued in on the fact that I was running by several small ponds and old overgrown water features of the golf course. I also remembered that one of the differences between SC and NC is that they have large reptiles, very large reptiles that live in small ponds and lakes. Hmmm....my run did not seem so ideal anymore. I still finished and didn't see a single alligator. I don't think I have ever been so observant of my surroundings! I did figure out that the ponds with ducks and geese most likely didn't have a resident alligator, or if they did it was not hungry. I have to admit though if I was an alligator I would rather have a fat bum and thigh then a scrawny duck any day!

Fear Factor X2

I have learned a few more things about living in the South. If you are not a native Southerner, you are a Yankee. It doesn't matter where you are from. If it is not here, you are a Yankee, period.

Another Southern gem, the youngest member of a family can be called Baby for their entire life. In my uniformed previous life I thought this was just a quaint characterization from the movie Dirty Dancing. Nope, the other day I heard my neighbor refer to his 24 year old cousin as "Baby" several times in a conversation. At one point I got confused and asked him if his cousin was pregnant. It was a little embarrassing.

Here is another random fact that I don't believe has much to do with the South, except for the thriving snake population. Dogs really CAN smell fear. There is a dirt road by my house that I run often and have never had any problems with dogs. Early the other morning I was running back up it saw my first snake of the season. In my mind I yelled, AAAAAAGh!!!!! Snake! and swerved out of the way. AT THAT EXACT MOMENT 2 dogs charged down their driveway barking at me like crazy. My terror quickly changed to OH CRAP!!!! DOGS!!!! I have never had a dog bark or run after me on that road so I can only suppose that they could smell the snake fear and just jumped on board. I wondered if they were doggie laughing as they sat in the road and watched me stumble away.



The best part about the South right now? Honeysuckle. It grows wild and is blooming everywhere. The whole outdoors smells of flowers and it is amazing.

No fair!

Yes, I can hear my mother reply that life is not fair. BUT... I just think it should be against the laws of the universe to get acne once you have wrinkles.

I have had a month of facial blemishes of extraordinary size in weird places. I almost didn't go to book club because of it. So you can see how serious a situation this is.

I was with my boys at a store a few days ago and Noah looks up at me, pointing his little chubby finger and says, "You have a ladybug. On yo face!" I had to laugh, how to explain to a 2 year old how much I wished it really was just a friendly insect?

I am probably tempting fate by blogging this. I do know, it can always get worse!

Stinky Winker!

I have to share the current insult at my house. When Sophie or Grace is really mad at each other they say, "You're a stinky winker!" Lots of whining, crying and tattling ensues and it is all I can do to not break out laughing. Sophie created the insult and is the queen of using it. It doesn't help that her parents laugh at times when she uses it. When someone makes you mad this week, just call them a stinky winker under your breath. You'll laugh and feel much better.

Life is a Stage

On our last camping trip Sophie created a stage with the curtains of one of the beds in the camper. We were blessed with endless renditions of The Cat and the Fiddle song all weekend long. After listening to same 4 line song repeatedly I realized that the line between funny/sweet and loud/obnoxious is very fine. Noah is pretty cute in his version though. You can hear Jason coming in to tell the kids to be quiet.



Noah is singing " Cow be on the moon.Diddle, Diddle" He is acting so bashful. Totally makes me laugh.