Happy 7th Birthday Luke & Noah!

 It is hard to believe these guys are 7! We had a fun day. We went to Ender's Game as a family, then came home and had a party. Thanks to skype we have talked to G&G Smith and G&G Hardy sang Happy Birthday with us and watched presents being opened. Lots of fun gifts! The boys got a target along with their bb guns. Of course after cake and ice cream we went outside to shoot guns. The boys pretended to be shooting buggers :) instead of the zombies on it. It seems like SO long ago that they were little dudes. But yet again I can't believe how quickly they have grown up. Our family is so blessed to have both Luke and Noah. I am grateful for both of them!

One more to the menagerie...

Luke finally has his turtle. He has been asking for a few years. It turns out that pet stores can not sell turtles in NC. So we drove to Winston tonight to buy a turtle from a guy selling them out the trunk of his car. He did have a card with his name and number on it if we needed any help.

 This little guy is a hatchling musk turtle. He is only about the size of a quarter! He is super cute and has been active, exploring his tank and eating already. The whole family has been watching him all night.

 Plus, now the boys have an awesome waterfall sound from  the filter to fall asleep to in their room. Our animal count is now at:
1 dog
2 cats
1 gerbil
1 turtle
1 beta fish
& 8 chickens

Makes me laugh! Especially for Jason who is not especially an animal lover. But he does love his kids :)

I spent most of the afternoon today sorting through boxes that have not been opened for years. Childhood keepsakes, letters all the way back to elementary school, tons and tons and tons of pictures and letters from my mission. It was fun to find some things I thought I had lost - my baby book for one! I could never find it when we moved to NC. I was not super worried, I was sure it was somewhere. I also found a blue glass bird that I received as a wedding gift from a college professor that meant a lot to me. She was on sabbatical from a baptist college somewhere in the south where it is traditional to give a blue bird of happiness as a wedding gift.
I has such a hard time deciding what to keep and what to give away or get rid of. Our new  house does not have room to store all this stuff, so I can't keep it all. That is the hard part, the blessing of all this is realizing what a life of abundance I have lived.
I have letters and letters and letters from all members of my family telling me of their love and just what was happening in their lives. I have had such amazing friends over the years that have loved, listened and taught me. I met people on my mission that changed my life and taught me of the Savior in ways no one else could. I have cards of love and support from my parents and Grandparents. I have been able to travel and have amazing experiences. I was reminded of blessings and experiences today and people whom I have not thought of for many years.
I have always loved John 10:10 when Christ says I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Tonight as I look back on my life to this point, I see the abundance and know it is from the Lord and I am humbled and so full of gratitude.

Christmas 2013

Merry Christmas!

 Gracie screamed with joy opening a gift from Santa of 15 books

 Santa brought Luke a turtle habitat. He has been wanting a pet turtle for a few years. 

 Legos. Enough said.

 Sophie got a real microphone, clothes and a knitting machine. But to pose for a picture she was loving on her enormous Hershey's kiss.

 Jason got all of the kids a motor bike. He built it and we tested it out while the kids were in school. I crashed pretty spectacularly and we laughed out heads off. But Christmas morning it promptly broke. Starting mechanism in pieces. Such a bummer. Kids are still excited, but sad to have it be broken first thing Christmas morning. Grace made me smile all dressed in pink with her pink bb gun.

It was pretty cold but we played out side a lot. This is a fun game Santa brough Luke. You can see our chicken coop in the background. It was Jason and I's gift this year.

I am always sad to not be with family on holidays. This year was no exception. But we had a relaxing fun day. We stayed in pjs and read, ate lots of candy, played games and hung out together. We played a new game Grandma Hardy got us called Headbandz before bed and laughed and laughed together. It was a wonderful day.

Christmas Eve

 Christmas Eve 2013

This year Susie and I started what we hope will be a tradition. We met at the church with some other families and played all morning long in the gym. I was the only Mom playing, which I think is crummy. But Susie was taking care of babies and Jen Cobia just had surgery last week. We played Spider Ball which is a combined dodge ball/freeze tag and kick ball and had tons of fun. The grown up men got too competitive, which I think is funny. But it was a good time. I had a spectacularly embarrassing fall in the middle of one game. The kind where you keep stumbling forward desperately trying to get your balance and then fall hard to the ground. It made me feel old. But it was pretty funny. I laughed and laughed. I was too embarrassed to see if anyone else was laughing, I asked Grace a bit later how bad it was, if I should be embarrassed and she said yes, definitely.

 We watched the video of the Savior's birth instead of reading it this year. The church made an incredible video. The kids learned more from it and payed attention better. I still love reading Luke 2, and I'm sure we will in years to come. We video stopped between segments and we were able to talk and discuss the Savior's birth. At one point Noah leaned over to me and whispered, "I'd rather have Jesus then presents." It was really sweet. Jason and I both bore our testimonies to the kids at the end of the Savior, His birth and redemptive power. We had a simple, wonderful Christmas Eve. Grace cracked me up that she wanted footie pjs, but she did. So I got them for her.  Sophie had the entire Christmas morning planned out, scheduled and written for the other kids. She said she would do a pep rally between the time they woke up at 6:10 and when we said they could get us up at 6:30. No pep rally was needed!

 Stockings, tree and Noah with our Santa key. He looks like he is praying that Santa will come! I think he was just cold.

Grace made sure to leave a snack for the reindeer on the front lawn. The other kids were putting out cookies for Santa. When Grace came in she started writing a thank you letter to Santa. Soon all the other kids had joined her.

Happy Birthday Jason!

Jason turned 42 today! We had a special breakfast today to celebrate before he left for Caswell this morning. It was his first sunday there on assignment as a High Counselor. They meet the same time we do, but are an hour away. It will take some getting used to for Jason to not be with us most sundays, but I am so grateful for his willingness and worthiness to serve the Lord.
While we waited for Jason to get home I made the kids watch White Christmas with me. Sophie liked the first half ok. The other kids not so much. I still love it though. I had fun telling Sophie who Bing Crosby was, etc. We had a yummy pot roast dinner and wacky cake tonight. I was the one who put the mismatched 42 on the cake. We actually didn't have any regular candles, but for some reason I kept some number ones.
I am so grateful for Jason, today and every day. Especially in this grand endeavor we  have begun, I have to admit most of the farm planning and motivation has been his. I am married to a wonderful man.

Early Christmas

Jason and I decided that our Christmas this year would be our coop and chickens. Our chicks came today! We ordered them from a hatchery in Pennsylvania where they were born yesterday. They pack them up right after they hatch so the chicks have plenty of nutrition from the egg and today we got to go down to our post office and pick up a little, peeping box of chicks! It was only about the size of a shoe box.

 For right now the chicks are in the mud room. We ordered 3each of 5 different laying breeds. We have 1 extra, so a total of 16. We only need 8, our friends the Ides are going to take the other 8. The whole family has been hanging out in the mud room watching them. Grace was there all afternoon. She took her book in with her :)

 You can see the little part of their beak that broke through their shells still. They are tiny! Feels like a fluffy nothing almost when you pick them up.

This little yellow chick is fast asleep with its head in the feeder. It stayed that way for several minutes. Jason and I were cracking up! The chicks just flop down wherever they are when they are tired and sleep, legs and wings all at odd angles. But no one else fell asleep in their dinner. Totally reminded me of a human baby asleep in their high chair. So much fun!

Gingerbread Barn

For our gingerbread house this year we made a barn. Good ol' Tractor Supply. You never know what you will find there! I think it turned out really cute. The kids mostly had fun. It seems we can't do anything as a family lately without at least a little bit of fighting. Sigh. But by the end we had it all figured out and everyone was happy.

Luke did the lights all along the roof, Noah came up with the gumdrop lanterns, Sophie made the candy cane wood pile and Grace made these adorable little mice to go along with the gummy animals that came in the kit.

Merry Christmas!

Grandma Hardy's Visit

We were lucky to share Thanksgiving with Grandma Hardy this year. We didn't go anywhere, there is still a lot of work to do here, but it was nice to spend the holiday together. I love this picture. It is on the steps of our corn crib. Not sure why it is called that. But it is an old shed that Mr. Lawrence moved when they built the house. 

Guest Author Grace

HI!!!!Today was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like my zombie faces??????

Me and Sophie on an old hay bale on the edge of our field. It was sort of hard because it kept falling apart.

We had fun playing.

BYE!!!!!!!!!!

Guest Author - Sophie

Today we went to the Raleigh temple. It was a really long drive but it was really cool to see. This was the first time any of the kids or Grandma Hardy had seen the temple. Luke and Noah seemed to be not as interested. About the whole time they were running around, chasing each other with sticks etc. We watched Ephraim's Rescue on the way there. Me and grandma had already seen it but the rest of the family had not. It is a very cool movie. After the temple we went to Wendy's for lunch and then to the Cheesecake Factory. But the cheesecake factory was actually in the mall and super crowded because of black friday. But we still went and waited for about an hour. The cheesecake was SUPER GOOD though. We were all very tired and on the drive home most of us fell asleep.We went to get a Christmas tree on the drive home. The kids first live tree! We saw our friends the Wrinkles getting a tree. I thank my mom for letting me be the guest judge. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*only one thing to add. In Ephraim's Rescue there is a part when a sister asks the main character how he is able to do so much good for so many people. His answer is that he tries. I want to always try. I may not be called to search a winter wilderness to rescue handcart pioneers, but I do think the Lord has work for me to do. It is so easy to feel like what we do, and who we are, is not enough. Instead, I am going to focus on just trying to always serve and do my best.

Winter

Winter has finally arrived. We have had cold, wet, windy weather for the past 3 days. Today we even had some snow flurries off and on. My  kids are so funny. They will complain that they are freezing, that it is so cold. Grace seriously tried to convince us that she had frost bite after we made the kids all help clean up leaves for an hour or so outside. All had hats and gloves...They just don't know what cold is. But  humid wind IS frigid and does chill you to the bone. But we are not talking frostbite territory.

Susie and I ran yesterday in a pouring, icy rain. I told her we were crazy  and she said no, just desperate. It was the only time this week we could run so we just did it. Actually it was super fun. Once you got over the fact that you were cold and wet, it was super beautiful and we had the whole greenway to ourselves. I always feel better about life after a run with Susie :)

This picture doesn't capture our little snowflakes falling in the icy, wet wind. But I love that the first thing Noah and Grace did outside was go and climb a tree. The kids and Grandma Hardy were all watching a movie while Jason and I did some never ending unpacking when it began to snow. Instantly there was sheer pandemonium as kids scrambled to shoes and coats. We didn't last outside too long. It really was cold. I hope at least once this winter we will have enough snow for my kids to explore our woods covered in a quiet blanket of white.

November 24, 2013

On the way home from church today Luke randomly says from the backseat, "I know how to tell if kids in my class are Southerners or not." Hmm. I asked what he meant. " Because they switch their i's and e's." ???? Ahhh, what do you mean? " Well like with fill, they write fell." So funny. 1st graders are still writing phonemic spellings. I just had to laugh, both at how observant he is and how little I hear people's accents here now.

It is cold here today! We are in the teens and twenties and are freezing. Funny how quickly you get used to warm weather here. We all turned on the "heat seaters" going to church. I am not sure anyone in our family will ever say seat heater correctly again. Luke and Noah started calling them that and it has stuck. They do heat your seat pretty dang well.

 All of the kids have been making these rubber band bracelets on a loom we got at Toys & Co. Such a great store! Luke worked and worked on his. He had to start 3 different times even with my help. He was pretty proud once it was done.

 Noah worked and worked on this sign for Jason. The other kids helped a bit, but mostly it was all him. Sweet boy. I love that Dad is "osum!" and the Japanese gong guy, and they guy saying ye ho with a wow! about his head.

Saturday Noah and I were outside. Noah was riding his bike and I heard a loud WOW! I asked him what was up. I looked and Noah was out under a Japanese maple in our new yard and he said that the last time he looked the leaves were black and now they're bright red. I love it when my kids stop and see the beauty of the world around them, and this tree is amazing right now.

Introducing Cami & Sadie

Our kittens have finally become brave enough to come out regularly from under the house. They are so stinking cute! They run around and play with each other and the leaves, they rub on your legs when you come outside, and purr when you pet them. I am amazed at how much they eat! Grace and Sophie have spent a lot of time outside with them and I am sure that has helped a ton. I wanted outside cats, but ones that would still love us and let us hold and cuddle them.

 Cami and Grace

 Sadie - a bit blurry, she wouldn't hold still and I was using my phone

And to keep things real these 2 adorable, sweet, crazy girls. Grace's shirt cracks me up. It is so weird and creepy, yet funny...Sophie's crazy face just had to be included in this post somewhere.

The girls began going to Summerfield Elem. this week. It has been better then we expected with kids coming up to them and wanting to be friends. I guess changing in the middle of the school year does have some advantages. I am worried the honeymoon is almost over though. There was a lot of angst at bedtime today about going to school in the morning :(

November 17, 2013

At our Stake Conference today all of the talks were given by teenagers or young adults. Each had 10 minutes and were assigned a basic gospel principle to teach and testify about. It was pretty amazing,  but did not start out so well for me. I knew each speaker was only supposed to take 10 minutes. The first young man was super nervous,understandably, and rambling on and on. He was not following the -how we give talks in Mormon church cultural rules- and I started getting anxious. I admit that I started to judge him, thinking the whole meeting would be rushed now because he was taking WAY too long, why did they put him first, he was not being very clear, etc. etc.

But I really, really wanted/needed to have a spiritually nourishing experience at Conference today so I got my thoughts in order, and started to listen with my heart. Somewhere in his talk on the Book of Mormon the Spirit taught me a powerful personal message that I needed to hear on prayer. Makes me feel so humbled and grateful to a loving Father in Heaven and Savior who mercifully forgive me so often. Also later in his talk this 17 year old boy shared some of his experiences and I realized his life has been far less then ideal, and I asked the Lord for forgiveness again for judging him.

I have been struggling with prayer lately. It seems the Lord is far away. Some of this has to do with depression and the horrible veil it seems to put up between myself and the spirit. I was running on Saturday morning through a heavy mist. It was fairly warm, but the water kept condensing on my eyelashes fogging my vision. The world around me would blur out of focus. That is how it feels to me sometimes dealing with my brain recently. I just can't get the world in focus,or get the right focus. If you saw my kitchen counter right now you would know exactly how I have been feeling. It's a great barometer for my mental health ;)

During Stake Conference I felt the Spirit prompt me to ask myself what has been guiding me lately, what has my Liahona been? I thought and couldn't really come up with an answer, unless anxiety and depression are answers, which is just...depressing.  I then had Alma 37 come to mind, when Helaman is teaching his sons about the Liahona.

40 And it did work form them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.
41 Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey.

The Spirit gently taught me how much I could improve my prayers and communication with the Lord by having faith in Him and His power in my life. My last post was all about small miracles, I think they have been all around me lately, but I have not seen them. So that is my goal right now, to progress in my journey by exercising faith in the Lord and to ask for help seeing His hand in all the miracles of my life.

PS - please don't be worried. I am no more depressed then usual.  Just trying to be more honest and open about it.

PPS - The Deseret News published an amazing story about the typhoon in Tacloban and how some sister missionaries survived. Here is a link if you are interested...may want some tissues close by.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865590735/Surviving-the-typhoon-A-story-of-fear-faith-and-what-it-means-to-be-prepared.html

Update

We saw both kittens this morning eating! It is the only time they come out from under the house. I am so relieved they are both alive and hope it stays that way. Grace and Sophie will have quite a job trying to tame them. They both need rabies shots and to be fixed at the vets. Who knows how I will get them there. I can't even get a picture of them so far!

Dishwasher was fixed by magically turning on a random light switch in the kitchen that we had no idea what it was for. Not exactly sure what is the benefit of connecting your dishwasher to a light switch but it was so nice to not hand wash everything. And Em I am sorry you don't have a dishwasher! I thought of you when I complained yesterday.

Luke and Noah had their first day at Summerfield Elementary today. Noah said his day was awful. No one played with him at recess and he didn't understand the math lesson. :( Makes me so sad. The boys will usually have recess together and were counting on each other to play with. I guess Luke's class had PE today and on gym days they don't go to recess. Argh!!!!!!! I think that is absolutely the stupidest thing. Noah is pretty discouraged. I tried to talk to him and reassure him that it will get better. He feels like his is not getting answers to his prayers. We talked about it at bedtime and I tried to explain how prayer works and reassure him that his Heavenly Father does hear and answer his prayers. Hard stuff for a 6 year old at times I guess.

Luke said he had a good day and made a friend named Charlie. I think his teacher made a much bigger effort to do things to help him feel comfortable and included. She has children right around the boys age, maybe it is easier for her to understand how tough it is to be the new kid.

Our neighbors came over today and introduced themselves. Sid and V ( I can't say or write her name yet, but I am determined to learn it) Patel. They have a boy who is 5 and a 3 year old girl. They were super, super nice and offered to help us multiple times in any way they could.

Jason leaves tomorrow morning for Japan. He installed a new thermostat upstairs and that seems to have fixed the heat problem. So blessings flowed today and I am grateful. There really was no need to go find a quiet spot in the woods and have a good cry. Except that I was really freaked out and frustrated after almost cutting Jason's finger off trying to back the tractor onto the trailer. When he is gone I will be hauling the trash out to the road by hand I guess.

On the other hand...

So. Our new land is fabulous, wonderful, beautiful. Our house to me is charming. But just to keep things real...we have ants. Lots of little sugar ants that I can't get rid of. I found one on my bed this morning while I was reading my scriptures. That is a heck of a long way for an ant to trek from my kitchen. Maybe he hitchhiked on me and I just didn't notice? Also, the brand new shiny, nicer then I would ever buy dishwasher stopped working. Ugh.  At least I think it is still under some kind of warranty. And the upstairs heat does not work, and it is cold here now, 25 tonight. Kids are piled under quilts and are taking it really well thinking it is some grand adventure to have so many blankets on your bed you can not move. Our master bedroom is freezing. It only has one heater vent and is just always cold. And one of our sweet new kittens is no where to be found. We think she is under the house with her sister, but have not seen her since Sunday. And because this house is smaller, I can't figure out where to put everything quickly and we have been here a week and it still looks like a tornado has been through our house.

But because of how private it is here I can leave all the blinds open all the time if I choose to. I woke up today facing my window, and watched the colors and light change in the woods.  Trees silhouetted black against a deep blue almost morning sky. The sky  lightened slowly and all shades of blue appeared. Eventually the trees became their fall browns and golds. There is so much beauty here. I can deal with the ants, eventually they will loose their battle with me. Everything else can be fixed. Just takes time and effort I am not sure some days I have. Plus to be honest I do nurse a bit of phone phobia. It really is not my favorite thing to call people, which has to happen when you are trying to get stuff fixed.

Tonight as I was fixing dinner I sent the crazy, loud kids upstairs to play. I listened to them laugh and laugh with Apples to Apples, a new game we just got today. Made me happy. We got the new picture version which I super, duper fun. Way better then the classic.

 I love how this house draws us together as a family. I love the opportunities to teach grow and learn here. I am trying really, really hard to rely on the Lord and let this experience strengthen my faith. Our other house still does not have a renter. Both mortgages are due for the first time in December. How would we learn to walk by faith if it is never tested and tried?

Henry

We have fallen in love. Every one of us, with possibly the exception of Sophie who I am sure has at least fallen in like with Henry.

We are the proud owners of a Ford 1952 red belly tractor. Notice the sign. I just couldn't help but take a pictures. Jason has already spent hours working on this tractor. But they are cheap and super reliable and so cool looking (which I know is not that important, but it helps).

Dad and Jason figured out how to plow while he was here. Jason plowed our garden area this week. It is huge! The plan is to use a cultivator ( are you impressed yet with my growing farm knowledge?) between the rows and have way less to weed. Both boys drove this afternoon with Jason's help. Clutch, throttle and steering. It was super fun to watch them. I got video but haven't figured a good way to post them. Videos on this blog are weird and just keep playing over and over at super speed. I am sure it is me not knowing what I am doing.

Grace and Sophie did not want to try driving today. They were too worried trying to track down our 2 new kittens. The cats promptly disappeared under the house when we brought them outside and the girls spent the afternoon fretting and trying to find them. Grace spent most the afternoon in tears about it. Poor kid. She tried to get me to let her sleep with them on the concrete garage floor last night when we brought them home. I finally played up how much dad and Dessa both know about cats and both girls felt better after we skyped Grandpa Smith and Grandma Hardy and were reassured by experienced outdoor cat experts that everything would be fine.
The Lawrences, previous owners, left a trailer we have used all weekend to move things into sheds with the tractor and pick up piles and piles and piles of leaves. The kids would help rake and then climb on top of the leaves for a ride to the burn pile. We also helped with leaves at a less active member's home Saturday morning. His trees were so beautiful in the morning sunlight. It was enjoyable to clean up his leaves. Also easy because they just had to go out to the curb. The kids all worked super hard and then had a ball playing in the enormous piles of leaves.

On a final note...I have learned that my mom was wrong and there is such a thing as too much work. I have temporary nerve issues in both hands and spent the morning at the urgent care instead of church. Doctors orders to rest were promptly followed and I took a 3 hour nap today. When I got up kids were fed, kitchen clean and Jason had everyone outside playing. I should sing his praises more!

New House!

Here are the first pictures of our new house.

 View from the front porch. Mom is giving Grace and Sophie some tree climbing pointers.

 Our road, our woods. How cool is that?!

 6 acres of woods. Heaven. Seriously beautiful. Not sure if Grace or I is more excited about them.

 Kids were all riding their bikes around. Guess Grandma just had to give it a go too...

Backyard. 6 acres of cleared land

Sophie was determined to pose in each and every picture she could. This is on our back patio.